Weeknotes 080: I’ll clean the cabbage in the bath.

Piglet was collected by her grandparents on a sunny Sunday and we passed up the chance to either nap or day drink in favour1 of ripping up decking and doing garden jobs. I blame the loss of serotonin as we age affecting our decision making.

We made decent progress before cleaning up for a much delayed meal at Long Friday and an evening with The Unthanks. We were the youngest there by a good two decades. A clear demonstration of Worzel Gummidge’s audience. It inspired me to add a new track to the Bon Waits playlist.

Piglet enjoyed the time away, falling over on a bouncy castle with grandma, then peeing over the floor of the public loos and offering a stone-cold I hope you brought spare clothes for me.” Auntie was treated to the inexplicable bawling of a toddler frustrated when she tried to put on tights that had a water mark. It took grandma to calm the inexcusable oversight. Reunited with her mama on Monday Piglet got to water the rowan tree she planted2 and to name someone else’s doll Alan”.

The shock of hearing the name Alan out of a toddler’s mouth gave The Chef norovirus. Hospital rules mean she can’t go in for the rest of the week. Covid has negated sick days and she’s working from home instead.

Egbert woke Tina up. You’re Egbert. I’m Tina”. Maybe we watch too much Button Moon.

There were more toddler tears when The Chef said, you can never have too much fun” and Piglet took herself inside to have a cry on the couch because of confusing grammar and the fact that she can never have too much fun’ again”

With The Chef under house arrest, I took the chance to cycle to nursery for first time. An ambition achieved and the nursery staff got a good laugh from my red face. In my defence it is a steep hill. Made even harder the next day when I put the bike in thee wrong gear and had to get off to push. In combination with cycling to the party last week, we could be one of those green, practical families that cycles together. I need to get The Chef’s bike repaired so we can all go together next week.

One loss from our regular vocabulary is the question, Overnight or lie in?” Happily mutated to, which day do you want to lie in?”

Bank Holiday weekend started with the excellent offer of £10 for 2 hours in a funfair with no ride admissions. Piglet had her money’s worth withing 30 minutes on her 8th carousel round. We’ll be hearing about this for months. Unfortunately she’s inherited my impassive face and her fun on the swings was internal. She also has a self-taught circuit breaker where, if she’s getting hyper, she’ll ostentatiously pretend laugh till she’s calmed herself down.

The week rounded off with a family barbeque with all the immediate family. Piglet doling out the cuddles and making sure everyone has a turn playing with her. Rather than bedtime stories, The Chef was regaled with tales of funfairs and family.

Steam trains tomorrow.


  1. The password rules at work forbid dictionary words. But they use an American dictionary. Words with an extraneous u are my childish revolt.↩︎

  2. Stood nearby while we planted.↩︎


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Weeknotes 079: Things overheard. Things said. Excuse me, baldy, working man. Girl, can I go on the swing now please? Dishwasher needs to go on tonight. We had a mass debate in the office (say it
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Weeknotes 081: Whatever The Chef Said The toddler conundrum: steam trains or terrifying birds by sprinting over to make friends? Whichever she’d settled on, her delight was palpable and